Monday, February 25, 2008

Blog 8: Rewind in Heaven


As I awoke, not remembering what happened before I......I couldn't say it, i couldn't believe all of them did that to me.
I started to jump from cloud to cloud. I wanted to rewind the whole story over. So I can see exactly what happened.
I stared down at the small island, i could see Jack and his tribe parting and eating like pigs. I would wonder what would happen to Jack's tribe next.
But also at the same time, while Piggy and Ralph are back on the island being so
steadfast i could also see my home at war.
I remember standing on the mountain, just staring at the Lord Of The Flies. He was talking like he was the devil. The whole time, i was thinking "What happens Next?" I know he warned me about the dangers upon the island and inside the other boys.
As i was waking up, from being unconscious, i could hear a annoying ruffle or something caught on a branch. I opened my drowsy eyes and I saw, what it looked like some kind of parachute. I panicked and for a second, i thought it was the beastie. But i took a closer look and it was a dead man. I should have known, that was a sign.
I had to go and tell the other boys, that there was no beastie and it was some kind of dead man. But Jack being the corrupt guy he is, he would never believe me.
The pig smelled tastier and tastier, so I knew i was getting closer and closer.
My eye's suddenly shut and I didn't know what was going on. All i could hear was "KILL THE BEAST! CUT HIS THROAT! SPILL HIS BLOOD!"
As my mind exploded with good and bad memories, i felt my last real tear drop
trickle down my cut face.
It was tremendous , I felt like the whole world was in the palm of my sweaty hands. I knew this was the end. I never thought dying would be so painful inside and out.



3 comments:

Zoe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zoe said...

I really like how instead of just telling the story you wrote as if Simon was reflecting on what happened. I thought that it made the story more interesting to read.
When you say "He was talking like he was the devil," maybe you could describe the conversation a little bit more, to explain why he goes up the hill to find the beast.
I really enjoyed how you opened you story with this description.
As I awoke, not remembering what happened before I......I couldn't say it, i couldn't believe all of them did that to me.
I started to jump from cloud to cloud. I wanted to rewind the whole story over.
I though it was a really good way to grab the reade'rs attention.

daniel said...

i like it again the begining hooked me right away.


As I awoke, not remembering what happened before I......I couldn't say it, i couldn't believe all of them did that to me.
I started to jump from cloud to cloud. I wanted to rewind the whole story over.
but i would like to see you describe when he goes up and finds the beast and what happens up there. but othere wise it was really good.